You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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