Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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