Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
