The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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