it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize