u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day