I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.