Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize