You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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