Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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