Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room