my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sick fucks of a feather flock together
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can't talk, ducks in the car