I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.