are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME