Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today

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(404): I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today http://tfl.nu/iz45

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(925): View more from California

Wait, how do girls masturbate?

(1-925): View more from California

I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

(925): View more from California

..how does it fit?

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(925): Wait, how do girls masturbate? (1-925): I dunno we use shower heads I guess. (925): ..how does it fit? http://tfl.nu/ktf5

Replies (85) Good night (1984) Bad night (5675)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.

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(703): Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon. http://tfl.nu/bjrm

Replies (12) Good night (5002) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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(405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x

Replies (27) Good night (6226) Bad night (1276) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"

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(214): Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid" http://tfl.nu/i4ng

Replies (12) Good night (5230) Bad night (870)
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(719): View more from Colorado

No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.

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(719): No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dm8r

Replies (9) Good night (3974) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer

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(267): Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer http://tfl.nu/2v54

Replies (26) Good night (4666) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.

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(770): At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it. http://tfl.nu/bg9a

Replies (11) Good night (6056) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there

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(512): I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there http://tfl.nu/tess

Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (2188) Order T-Shirt
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(540): View more from Virginia

I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.

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(540): I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge. http://tfl.nu/mw98

Replies (8) Good night (2499) Bad night (1044) Order T-Shirt
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(269): View more from Michigan

I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.

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(269): I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away. http://tfl.nu/ufa3

Replies (10) Good night (4830) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.

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(732): Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate. http://tfl.nu/stwp

Replies (9) Good night (1446) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

All I want is tacobeell and your body

(1-925): View more from California

that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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(925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc

Replies (8) Good night (2723) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport

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(952): I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport http://tfl.nu/ckgb

Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.

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(541): I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do. http://tfl.nu/nqe0

Replies (1) Good night (724) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt

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