He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night