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I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Randomize
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