I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize