Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Let's get the cat blown out
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
