Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
