I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
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I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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