I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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