that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
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How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.