i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.