Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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(717): So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC. http://tfl.nu/vvcv

Replies (89) Good night (3156) Bad night (604)
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(360): View more from Washington

The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.

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(360): The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade. http://tfl.nu/rkoj

Replies (48) Good night (4363) Bad night (663)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.

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(304): just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter. http://tfl.nu/doob

Replies (10) Good night (5352) Bad night (567)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

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(303): You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty" http://tfl.nu/y2bi

Replies (21) Good night (1191) Bad night (6089)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.

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(205): I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers. http://tfl.nu/jlqp

Replies (21) Good night (7248) Bad night (1545)
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(214): View more from Texas

So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far

(713): View more from Texas

Sounds better than last semester

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(214): So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far (713): Sounds better than last semester http://tfl.nu/9h5w

Replies (12) Good night (1714) Bad night (4747)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.

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(412): This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun. http://tfl.nu/9a4x

Replies (10) Good night (1552) Bad night (3806)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.

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(678): So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God. http://tfl.nu/decj

Replies (11) Good night (1112) Bad night (3549)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

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(563): I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast http://tfl.nu/ae47

Replies (2) Good night (963) Bad night (433)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass

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(301): I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass http://tfl.nu/ww71

Replies (3) Good night (893) Bad night (557)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.

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(201): I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me. http://tfl.nu/s5ef

Replies (0) Good night (1047) Bad night (382)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.

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(918): I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot. http://tfl.nu/9z19

Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (382)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.

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(570): Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan. http://tfl.nu/akru

Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (530)
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(716): View more from New York

I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.

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(716): I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow. http://tfl.nu/y8yu

Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (300)
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(858): View more from California

Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.

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(858): Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke. http://tfl.nu/9t6d

Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (368)

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