WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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