any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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