U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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