it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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