my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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