I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
