He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize