Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
