So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.