yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.