he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?