Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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