the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
