My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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