The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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