I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
