dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?