i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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