Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize