Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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