remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
