So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
