we're chasing vodka with high fives
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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