As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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