have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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