What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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