I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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