weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize