Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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