Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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