I will die if light touches me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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