i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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