He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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