3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is wine microwaveable?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
