Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
