go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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